Day 137 - The 'No Fear' Hole

I've mentioned before that my buddy, Bob has taken me on many outdoor adventures.  This was one of them and am pretty sure this picture was taken by him. 

This was during my 3rd year of vet school (I think) and Bob and my classmate, Chad and I went spelunking. It was a cave that Bob had been to before.  I don't even remember where it was.....

But I do remember this picture.  Bob and I were telling the story to Matt and my brother on our recent trip to D.C.  Not that I had forgotten about it, but it was fun to retell the story and hear it from Bob's perspective.

We had been exploring the cave for a while when we came to this tiny little opening.  To the right of it the words "No Fear" were spray painted on the wall with an arrow pointing to the gap.  Bob and Chad were too big to fit into it so they urged me to.  I had to remove my helmet (which had my flashlight strapped on it) in order to fit in.  I went feet first and had to bend my body around to the left in order to get in. 

Once I was in, there was a little more room and I was able to sit up and shine the light towards my feet.  There was a tunnel of sorts that sloped down maybe 20 feet or so and then there was a bend to the right.  I obviously could not see what was around the bend, and I did not venture to find out. 

Bob and Chad urged me to explore it - but I just couldn't.  We did not have a rope and I just am not THAT brave in a tiny, dark, space that is a huge unknown. 

As I started inching myself back out of the hole, I got stuck. 

Panic ensued.

But only for a bit.  I was able to get myself calm and wiggle out of there.  I was very, very relieved.

Bob has said to me before I ever went in that it was ok if I got stuck - I would eventually get smaller from starvation and dehydration and then get un-stuck.  Heh.

Chad really seemed to enjoy the spelunking.  Every time I turned around he was off somewhere else - exploring away.

I'm not claustrophobic, per se, but I do feel much better knowing that I'm going through a cave that has previously been explored and an exit point does exist.  :) 

Day 136 - Garden of the Gods

I was so blessed to go to CO on three trips to complete the American Animal Hospital Association's Veterinary Leadership Academy.  (That's a mouthful!)  I was able to fly there and stay free of charge because of an award that I received that Dr. Bowman nominated me for.  It was a great experience and I met some really awesome people and learned some really awesome things.  :)

On my first trip in May of 2007, the group went to visit the Garden of the Gods - which was gorgeous and very unique.  These are just a couple of pics taken with my little point and shoot.  I traveled with solely carry-on luggage, so no big camera for me.  I had no idea we'd be sight-seeing! (And we did not do this on the other 2 trips....)

Very cool park.

Day 135 - The Lost Beach

Pretty tired again tonight.  But am thankful to be safe and sound with all of the storms affecting the area.

Needed to post something happy.  This picture makes me happy.  :)

This is a beach on the North shore of Oahu, Hawaii.  It is the beach where the TV show "Lost" was filmed.  Matt and I were there for our honeymoon in 2008.  I had not yet been sucked into the show, so was not as enthused as Matt was.  But now I think it's really cool to say I was there.  :)

I took pictures of the sea turtles while Matt swam with them.  I was too weak to swim - I really feared I would drown.  I was very sad.

But back to happy!  It was a lovely beach with lovely turtles in Hawaii.  You should go there. 

Day 134 - April 27th, 2009

I took this picture 2 years ago today.  Weird.

I did actually take this picture with my right hand - took me several tries before I got a good one.  :)  That's my left arm with my picc line in place (peripherally inserted central catheter.)  It was put in by a surgeon with the help of an ultrasound and fluroscopy.  It stayed in my arm - winding through my circulation to the entry point of my heart - for 6 weeks.  It was used to deliver high powered antibiotics into my system in an attempt to treat the infection that has been plaguing me for 3 years now.

Last week I spent the day traveling to various farms to vaccinate horses.  I have the horse days scheduled now so that we go to the same farms on the same day every year (as those farms are in the same area and close together.)  Dr. Barton must have done those particular farms last year, because at every one of them this year they asked how I was feeling.  They remembered me having this apparatus in my arm 2 years ago and had not seen me since. 

Their questions reminded me about this picc line and all that went along with it.  I remember seeing patients and doing surgery while receiving my medication via that cool little pressurized bulb thing you see there (really, that thing is genius!) Owners had no idea what was going on underneath my lab coat.  :)  One of my licensed vet techs would clean it and hook me up in the mornings.  My husband would hook me up in the evenings.  It took an hour for the meds to go in and then I would get un-hooked.  :)  Dr. Bowman would change my dressings once a week back in our clinic's surgery room with both of us wearing hats, masks, and gloves to prevent any bacteria from having entry directly to my heart.  :)  If I tried to sleep on my left side, my heart would start to flutter and beat erratically because the tip of the catheter would be pushed into my heart (which it obviously did not appreciate.)

I remember how much hope I had in this being 'the' fix for my infection.  And I remember feeling good for the first time in a year while it was in.  The pain finally left.  The energy finally returned.  And then, as suddenly as things changed, they changed back - within 5 days of stopping one of the antibiotics, I was back to where I was before I started.  So frustrating.

I'm still not well, but I'm not as frustrated as I used to be.  Not that I've accepted being sick.  Not at all.  I am still fighting to get well and doing all within my power to do so.  But I am so much better now than I was then,  that I'm emotionally able to still have hope.  2 years ago was hard.  Really hard. 

I worked with a client today that I met last year for the first time.  He is a retired teacher and coach and overall really nice guy.  He has a peripheral neuropathy that is undiagnosed.  He's been to Hopkins, he's been to Mayo.  No one can help him.  He is in constant pain.  We have only had that one conversation a year ago - but it was a long one. 

When I saw him today I asked him "good day or bad day?"  And he smiled.  He then said 'bad day.'

But the smile was from being asked the question from someone who understands. The fellowship of the affected is a powerful thing. 

Even though I am so much better now, I do not ever want to forget how bad it once was.  Remembering the hopelessness - not knowing if there would ever be a relief from all of the symptoms - helps me to be grateful for each day I wake up able to walk up the stairs.  It helps me to be grateful when I sleep through the night.  It helps me to be grateful that I don't hurt all the time.

I have this tiny little scar on the inside of my left arm from this picc line.  It's not very noticeable and I hardly ever look at it.  I don't think anyone ever notices it.  But the other day I had a client ask me about it.  She only asked because she remembered when I had the picc in.  She asked to see the scar it left behind.

She's a wonderfully kind and compassionate client that I consider a friend.  She asked to see the scar because she cares about me.  When she asked to see it, I was like 'it's not a big deal - it's just a tiny thing.'  She responded 'the scar is small, but what it represents is not.'

There are some wounds and scars on my body that I don't mind pointing out to people and telling the story behind them.  The first cat bite I received, for example, that left a tiny scar on the tip of my index finger on my right hand.  It represents the promise I made to never let an animal suffer because of money issues.  The scar on my right palm from running through a glass door when I was a kid (accident-prone, much?) that taught me to slow down a bit and pay attention to things like doors. :)  The scar on my left hand that I got as a result of not following the rules that Dr. Bowman gave me (don't ever work on cow feet with your hoof knife without your leather gloves on!)  All of those scars represent life experiences that left me with concrete life lessons learned the hard way.

This scar on the inside of my arm is different.  I am not proud of it.  I don't like to talk about it.  I would rather pretend it did not exist.  It does not invoke a memory of a lesson learned or a 'do this, don't do that again' directive.

It's just a scar.

But all scars represent something.  And we all have them - whether visible or not.  I was reminded of this during a conversation I had recently with a super good friend of mine.

I am not terribly good at noticing other people's wounds.  It's way easier to just deal with what we are presented and not go any deeper.

But I am thankful that I have friends and clients who ask to see my scars.  Though it made me uncomfortable, and I tried to make light of it, her concern and her statement that it was a big deal gave validity to the pain that was present when the scar was made.  She gave validity to my struggle.  And that was both wonderful and helpful.

Today, I hope I replicated that same act of kindness and gave validity to his struggle by asking my client if it was a good day or a bad day.  I think just acknowledging that there is pain releases it's grip just a bit.

Letting others in to see our scars is scary and....unflattering.  We humans are such prideful creatures.

And taking the time to care about someone else and offering compassion to their struggle is also not easy.

But both are good and right and wonderful and necessary.

That's why I share this with you.  

Day 133 - Bruised Knee

I am confident that there is a good story behind this bruise on my knee.  However, I can not remember what it is.  :)  This picture was taken on June 6th, 2005 and it's likely I was kicked by something. 

Nice bruise, eh?

Day 132 - A Chicken

This is a chicken that lives at the Humpback Rocks visitor center here in VA. I saw her a couple of years ago when Matt's sister, brother-in-law, and nephew were visiting.

I like chickens - always have.  I really hope to own some soon.  :)  I love the way they walk and the little noises they make.  The loud noises - not so much.  When I was in Africa, I rode in a car all day (8 hours or so) with a chicken on my lap.  It was a gift to us from the people whose cattle we had taken care of and she was to be a meal for one of the village pastors in the area.  She was a nice chicken.  She did not poop on me once.

The other day I was called out to visit a new client whose horses had gotten into a bit of a kicking match.  As I was standing in the field looking at the first horse and talking to the owner - I glanced over my shoulder to see a large red chicken coming towards me.  As I have told this story several times, I have usually done the motions and noises of the chicken.  I just can't replicate that in text.  :)

I did not think much of the chicken and continued my exam and conversation.  The next thing I knew, there was a faint tapping on the side of my calf.  I looked down and the chicken was lightly pecking me!!!  I asked the owner what on earth she was doing and I was told "giving you chicken kisses!"

This hen was soon joined by two others - the three of them stood around me - pecking me repeatedly.  They did not do it firmly - it did not hurt at all.  I asked if they were tame and when the owner said 'yes' I reached down and petted the first hen and then picked her up.  Such a nice chicken!

I went into the next pasture to look at the other horse and the chickens followed me.  As soon as I stood still, all three of them began pecking me again.  It was hilarious!  I just kept wondering "what ARE they doing?"  What, in their little minds, did they think they were accomplishing.  Did I appear like food?

I continued to ask questions about them and was quite shocked to learn that they had once been commercial layers.  Their beaks were trimmed (probably why the pecking did not hurt) and they were cage raised.  Pretty amazing that they are now so friendly and tame considering they were not hand raised at all.

After finishing with the horses, the owner showed me her 'babies.'  She had about 30 chicks that were a week old.  So many different breeds!  I really liked this one tiny little bantam - and it seemed to like me. I wanted to bring it home but fear my cats would enjoy that a little TOO much.   I can't remember what kind it was - it was very tiny and black.  She got all of her chicks from the Murray McMurray Hatchery. This little one was half the size of the rest of the chicks and he (or she) kept coming up and pecking me.  Too cute!

I have no idea what kind of chicken is in my picture. Anyone know?

Day 131 - Budding Tree and a Fence

Happy Easter! 

I have had one of the best Easter Sundays I have had in years.  I love it when Easter is late in the Spring.  The weather is warm and the grass is green and the flowers are in bloom and everything feels so..... alive!

For those of you who don't know when Easter is determined - it is dependent on when Passover is.  Passover is a Jewish holiday and the Jewish calendar is based on the phases of the moon.

Easter is the first Sunday after the first full moon after the Spring Equinox.  Now you know.  :)

My Sunday School lesson this morning in my pre-school class just happened to be on the Passover (we are working through the Old Testament in sequence and it was not 'planned' that I would be doing THIS lesson today.  But I did.)  :)

We also just finished a video study in our small group on the historical and contextual events that led to Jesus' death on the cross. 

It just seems like everything fell into place for me intellectually this year.  And because my mind was able to grasp the series of events and understand some things in a new light, my heart has been soaring all day.  :) 

God could have chosen any season in the year to fulfill the plan for the Messiah - Jesus' death and resurrection.  But He chose Spring:  the time of year when life bursts forth from winter's deathly grasp. 

He also chose to have Him die at Passover: that yearly celebration of God's mercy on His people and His mighty act to deliver them from the bondage of slavery. 

As I was telling my pre-school class the somewhat gruesome story that is known as Passover, I was just really struck by all of the symbolism that was contained in what I was speaking. 

It's too much to unpackage here tonight.  But it really is amazing. 

I enjoyed the sweet fellowship of my small group family tonight.  We are all here in this part of VA having been transplanted here.  There is not one VA native in our group.  We are all far away from our biological families - so we celebrated this resurrection today together.  And it was awesome.  Great food, the reading of the resurrection account from Luke 24, and a great time of worship together made up our night.  It was so good that I feel a bit guilty for people who never get to experience the church body in this way.  I count it as one of the biggest blessings in my life. 

My favorite song in recent months has been the Matt Maher song "Christ is Risen" - I was so joyous to proclaim it this morning.  If you are not familiar with it, have a listen here.

He is Risen!

Day 130 - Happy Easter's Eve

Today, Matt and I were able to be a part of the Shifflett (sure hope I got the right number of 'f's' and 't's' in there!) Easter family reunion.  They asked me to photograph the entire family - since it's the first time they have all been together in years. 

It was perfect weather and we had a blast.  Our reward was a wonderful meal and great conversation with people Matt and I consider family.  Dr. Bowman's wife, Nancy was a Shifflett - so this was a reunion with her parents (who we see every Thanksgiving) and her sisters and their families. 

There was an Easter Egg hunt to reward the kids for their good behavior as I took photo after photo of the group.  Before they came out to grab them up - I took this pic.  :)

Happy Easter, folks. 

Day 129 - Bucket List # 2

Yes, I have a bucket list.  I've accomplished most of the items on the list - which is super fun.  Just a few more to go.  Then I'll add more to the list.  :)

Skydiving in Hawaii was pretty awesome.  It was much colder than I expected when we first fell out of the plane.  That's right.  We did not 'jump' - we pretty much just fell.  I'm not sure which was more shocking to my body:  the cold or the rapid free fall towards the earth.  The combo was enough to knock the wind right out of me, though - I don't think I took a breath for 30 seconds.  :)

Matt loved the fall.  I enjoyed the experience much more once the parachute was pulled.  I enjoyed the floating through the sky with just my feet below me - taking in the gorgeous Oahu coast.

Will I do it again?  Maybe.

But I'm glad I did it once and that I have pictures to document the experience.  :) Which, again, was awesome. 

Day 128 - Caroline

I've blogged about our other pets - so it's only fair I blog about Caroline.  She is an absolutely gorgeous and tiny pastel calico cat.  She is also very, very dumb.

I'm not being mean.  She is the opposite of smart. 

For example:  we feed her in the guest bathroom twice a day.  Every day.  At the same exact times morning and evening.  Always. 

Some days, she will not come into the bathroom but sits outside the door looking in at the food and just cries.  All she has to do is walk in the door where the other cat is and eat her food.  That's it.  But no, she sits outside the door crying.  When we try to pick her up to put her in the bathroom, she takes off running like we are going to try to eat *her*. 

There are more, but really, just take my word for it.  She's not smart. 

But she's lovely and soft. 

Day 127 - Pretty Butterfly

In the Natural History Museum in D.C. there is a Butterfly exhibit that you can pay to walk through.  It's pretty awesome - despite the fact that it's really hot in there and they spray a fine mist every 2 minutes that I worried would damage my camera.  :)

This particular butterfly was poised just so right before the door.  I was so happy it had its wings open!  All of the other butterflies would close their wings when they alighted on a flower.  But this one stood perfectly still, wings open gloriously while I happily took its picture.  And then another picture.  And then another. 

I then noticed that its antennae were not moving. 

I'm pretty sure it was dead.  Positioned there to have its picture taken. 

Which I did.  And it's lovely. 

Day 126 - The Crab in the Sandals

In the summer of 2006, I traveled with Matt and his ENTIRE family to Duck, NC.  It was a great week at the beach (though the water was freezing!)

After taking a swim on one of the warmer days, I came back to my towel to find there was a hole behind my flip flops.  A little crab was making his home behind them.  :)  I layed down in the sand, getting all sweaty and sandy and being eaten-alive by flies in order to capture the little creature.  He was very timid and did not want to come out of his hole!  Finally he did - and I got a few shots.  :) 

Day 125 - The Kennedy Eternal Flame

So, I'm almost positive that I took a picture of this when I was 12 - but I can't find it.  Oh, well.  I'm going to post the new one anyway because I think it's cool.

This is the flame marking JFK's grave at Arlington. 

When I was 12 and there for the first time and it was raining, I was puzzled:  how does it keep burning when it's RAINING???? 

I guess I still kinda wonder that.....

Day 124 - Arlington

I've been to Arlington National Cemetery twice in my life - both times, it was raining (lightly.)

I experience an odd mixture of emotions when I visit this vast graveyard.  To see the graves of people who have given their lives in service to this country is something that affects me. 

Matt and I were talking about how strange it must be for soldiers to come here and visit their friends, their platoon-mates - knowing that it's also a huge tourist attraction.  How does that make them feel?

I told him that I hope it gives them peace.  I hope that as they serve, willingly risking their life, that they know they will not be forgotten.  As long as people come to visit this cemetery, their name will be seen.  Their service will be remembered.  Their sacrifice will be understood.

The tomb of the unknown soldier, and the ceremony that protects it, really puzzled me as a 12 year old.  It seemed like a lot of hoop-la for a grave that held no danger of being robbed.  Why did it need to be guarded so?  And why so much pomp? 

But as I was trying to explain it to my 8 year old niece on this last trip, I told her that all of the ceremony and precision and pomp was to let people know that our government is making a statement.  There are men who died serving our country that we do not know the names of.  But we will not forget them.  We will not forget anyone who died serving for the freedom we have today.   

And we really must never forget that our freedom was indeed not free.

Matt's grandfather is buried at Arlington - so we made a visit to his body's resting place.  Matt had not been there since his burial in 1995.  Walter Sheridan served in the US Navy as a submarine radioman.  He was a RM3.  He also brought down Jimmy Hoffa and was personal friends with the Kennedy family.  He has quite a family legacy - I wish I could have known him.

Cemeteries are strange things to me.  Because I believe that we are souls who have bodies (not the other way around) and because I believe that our souls are eternal, a resting place for a body that is going to turn back to dust seems......unnecessary.  In the other countries I have visited, there have not been cemeteries (that I have seen.)  I know they are not a new idea - I'm well aware of the tombs of the Egyptians.  I think they are good, don't get me wrong, but I don't ever want to be in one.  My body is going to die.  My flesh and bones are going to rot and decompose.  I don't want my body to be remembered.  

I want my soul to.  

I want my life's work to be what people remember.  I want to leave a legacy of giving and serving and helping people.  I want people to remember me as a person who loved God and people and who walked with Jesus - trying to follow in His footsteps as closely as possible.  I have far to go. 

I am so thankful for the freedom I have as an Amercian - given to me freely, without any merit of my own - by soldiers like this one.  

I am even more thankful, though, for the freedom I have as a Christian - given to me freely, without any merit of my own - by the ultimate servant, Jesus. 

Day 123 - Dinosaurs!

I thought I had taken the same picture this go around, but alas, I did not.  I went for the big guy this time.  He's pretty cool.  :)

Day 122 - The Washington Monument

I happen to think that my 12 year-old self took a fairly decent picture of the lovely Washington Monument.  :)  We got to go into the the monument and ride the elevator all the way to the top and look out over the city on my 7th grade school trip.  I remember being in line for a long time.  And I remember it being cold.  I squatted to the ground and pulled my knees to my chest and buttoned my jean jacket (yes, I'm serious) around my knees to make my own little cocoon.  The other students would pick me up and move me as the line progressed.  I was a tiny little thing then.  

Heh.

I was not able to take the same photograph this time around.  The top picture is taken from the Lincoln Memorial - but for right now, the refelecting pool  has been drained in preparation for repairs.  

So, instead, I got a view of it from the WWII memorial (which was very nice) and one from the steps of the Capitol building.  Not sure which I like best. 

Day 121 - The Supreme Court

These two pictures have a much different perspective.  I do like the newer one better - seeing my family in small size next to the magnitude of this building.  How DID they build this thing????  It's pretty amazing.  

The door is super huge.  Really, really big.  

And the vehicle in that top picture - can anyone tell me what that is???

Day 120 - The Hope Diamond

The Hope diamond - lovely, large, blue, and very unlucky for whoever owns it.  

It's gotten a new setting since the first time I saw it in 1989 - can't imagine how heavy it must be. 

Day 119 - The Capitol

Gotta admit that I like that blue sky in the old picture better than the gray sky in the new picture.  :)  

In fact, I think for a 12 year old with a point-and-shoot film camera in 1989, the top picture is pretty darn good! 

We did learn a little secret for photographing the nation's Capitol without other tourists in the picture:  8am on a Sunday morning.  :) 

Day 118 - The Lincoln Memorial

So, I went to Washington D.C. for the first time when I was in 7th grade - I was 12.  It was quite the eventful trip, I must say.  I took two rolls of film of the sights I saw in those whirlwind 3 days and this is one of them.  

I just returned from another whirlwind 3 day trip to D.C. - it was my brother, sister-in-law, and niece's first trip to our nation's capital.  It was cold and cloudy and rainy - but Matt and I, along with our friend, Bob had a great time showing them the city.  Here's my new pic of the Lincoln memorial.  :)  

My niece is quite obsessed with Lincoln - he is her favorite president.  Mind you, she's only in 2nd grade - everything she knows about him she has researched on her own on the internet.  :)  Amazing.  

More pics of the week to come.  I thought it would be fun to do an entire week of contrasting the shots I took in 1989 to the ones I have just taken in 2011.  Twenty-two years later.  

The places are the same, but the photography equipment is much better.  :)

Days 115-117 - I was out of Town :)

So, I was out of town for the weekend and did not take my laptop.  Though I did have internet access, I failed to plan ahead and get some pictures in the queue to blog about.  So, I bailed for 2 days.  I really am not happy about it, but, oh well.  

This picture is of a pretty large woodpecker in our yard taken this month a year ago.  I just saw another one this last week.  :) 

More pictures tomorrow.  But I am exhausted.  Bed for now. 

Day 114 - Matt playing 'Words With Friends'

We are in DC for the weekend with my brother and his family and our good buddy, Bob.  

Forgot to post a pic before leaving - so just took one now.  No story.  Just bedtime.  :)

Day 113 - It's a Camel kind of Day

This is Uberta.  She was not happy that I had just given her vaccines so she was telling me about it.  As soon as this picture was taken, she tried to turn around and bite me.  Thankfully she was tied to a post and I move pretty quick.  :)

But overall, she is a nice camel.  She and her friend, Molly live here in VA and are the stars of a living nativity scene every Christmas. 

Day 112 - Dirty Knees

I'm very glad my mom taught me about the Spray-n-Wash Stain Stick.  In a profession like mine, it really is the difference between being able to keep clothes around and flicking them with a Bic.  (That's a Baxter Black reference that likely only Dr. B will recognize but everyone should read HERE.)  :) 

These are my jeans that I was wearing this past Friday night during my sheep c-section.  Sure, I had on thick insulated canvas coveralls.  But blood travels through coveralls.  The pictured jeans are coated in the magical goodness that comes from the Stain Stick and are in the wash right now.

Our friend, Kyle who was the photographer that night was a great sport about all the blood and mess.  On the way home from the C-section, I recounted for him a story of severe blood-mess from my first year of practice.  I think I should write it down - and that's exactly what this blog is for.  :)  I remember the morning well.....

  Sunday morning.  December 15th, 2002.  4am.  'Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.'

It was cold.  I don't remember how cold - but cold.  A pager going off at 4am on a Sunday morning always means two things:  1) it's a dairy farmer (no one else is ever up that early) and 2) it's bad (they don't call on Sunday mornings unless it's a life or death situation.)

I had only been in practice for 5 months at that point and was still in the phase of my career where I threw up pretty much anytime my pager went off.  That started to fade away after the 6 month mark, thankfully.  :)  So, after answering the page, calling the farmer to find out what the problem was, throwing up and getting dressed - I headed out just a few miles down the road.

It was o'dark thirty at this point (very early and still dark) and I drove into a pasture to find a cow that had recently given birth and was now experiencing a prolapsed uterus.  This is a pretty life-threatening condition where the uterus basically turns inside-out due to low blood calcium levels.  If not corrected the cow can die due to blood loss, infection, shock, or cardiac arrest - or any combination there-of.

I made it through my entire vet school career without having ever seen one.  I saw TWO on the same day during my working interview here that summer.  Had not seen one since.  

But I knew what to do!!  She was down and could not get up due to her weakness, so I did not need to do an epidural.  I just needed to 'stuff it back in.'  (My vet school professor called them 'stuffbacks.')  So I did!  Or, rather, I tried. 

I knelt on the ground behind the cow, pulled the uterus up onto my lap, and cleaned it off. (Just so you can get a mental picture, this uterus has just delivered a 100lb calf. It is a bloody bag of muscle that weighs 40-50lbs and is 2-3 feet in length.) I then began to push it back in.  I pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed.  I layed down on the ground and pushed.  I had the farmer help me push.  We pushed and pushed and pushed and grunted and pushed until we just couldn't push anymore.  

At 6am I gave up and called Dr. Bowman to help me.  

I continued to try and push it back in until he arrived.  I will never ever forget what he said to me as he stepped out of the truck.  

"DOCTOR!!!!  You are trying to push a uterus into a BLOATED cow UPHILL! That is NEVER going to work!"  

My internal thought process reaction: 'Oh.  She IS bloated.  And I AM pushing uphill.  Well, that's pretty stupid.  Why didn't I notice that?!?'

My super intense focus on getting the job-at-hand done blinded me to giving myself every opportunity to succeed.  This is an important life lesson I have tried to apply to every other problem I have since set out to tackle.  THINK first.  THEN dive in.  :)

With his help (and the help of a 4-wheeler) we sat her up on her chest (she had been laying on her side) and she began to burp and belch and let off that gas in her stomach that had made her bloated. (Cows can't burp laying on their side.) We then spun her around so she was facing downhill, and we pulled her legs out behind her in order to tilt her pelvis forward. 

Dr. B then said to me "NOW try pushing it back in."  I was completely and utterly exhausted and it did not take him long to see that.  He was very kind and took over for me and replaced the uterus into the cow.  I started an IV to give her some calcium and other nutrients her body needed.  

It was then, while standing there holding the bottle of fluids above the cow, that I realized it was cold outside. VERY cold standing on the top of this hill at dawn.  Next, I realized that I was wet.  I was soaked through all of my many layers of clothes in blood.  Blood and just general ground snow/frost/moisture wetness.  Finally, my adrenaline began to wear off -  and I began to shake.  Violently. 

Cold + Wet + Adrenaline Crash + low blood sugar  = Leslie shaking like she's having a seizure.  

I remember Dr. B saying 'hold on just a few more minutes, doctor - then you can go and get warm.'  

We cleaned up, admired the beautiful winter morning sunrise, and then got in our trucks to go home.  It was only a 5 minute drive back to my apartment and soon I was standing at my front door facing a dilemma. 

I was absolutely soaked/drenched/downright BATHED in blood.  It was literally dripping from my clothing.

I lived in a apartment that I was renting.  It had WHITE carpet throughout.  My shower was waiting for me upstairs.

I lived in a townhouse apartment at the top of a hill.  If you were standing in my living room looking out through the big picture window you would just see a parking lot and a hill.  No other apartments.  

I always kept my blinds up and my curtains open - I enjoyed the light and privacy was never really a concern.  Until now. 

There was a very small square of vinyl flooring just inside my front door.  I decided that I just had to strip down right there on that vinyl in order to keep from getting blood on the carpet.  It was 7am on a Sunday morning - I was pretty confident (and very hopeful) that no one would walk past the window.  I was in full view.  

The blood had soaked down into my boots, even - so even the bottom of my feet were bloody.  I found a non-bloody spot on the back of one of my shirts to wipe my feet off on before I ran up the stairs buck-naked and covered in blood.  As far as I know, no one saw me.  If they did, I'm thankful they never approached me about it.  

I stood in the shower and it looked like something from a horror movie.  It was awesome.  While scrubbing myself clean and soaking in the heat of hot water, I heard a most disturbing sound:  'Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.'

7am on a Sunday.  Are you kidding me???

"This can't be good. "

It was a different dairy farm with 2 DA's.  (A DA is a cow with a twisted stomach that I have to do surgery on to repair.)  I told the farmer that I would be there soon but I needed to eat first.  

Which I did - right after I threw up again.  :)

Is it any wonder I lost 10lbs my first 6 months in practice???

After the two DA's, my pager went off AGAIN.  Pretty sure I threw up again, too.  I can't remember what that 3rd call was, but it obviously wan't too traumatic since I don't remember it.  Or maybe I was just too deliriously tired at the end of the day to lock it in to memory. 

To date, that has been my hardest day on-call.   I do not look forward to the day that tops it.  At all.

As for the jeans in the picture, they are probably clean by now - and the magical Stain Stick will have made them as good as new.  :)

The cow with the prolapsed uterus did not get up for several days - but eventually did.  Yay!  

Day 111 - Baby Ansley

After MUCH anticipation, Baby Ansley finally arrived!  And with a TON of hair!!!

She's gorgeous - more pictures later.  :)

Day 110 - Sarah!

So, we got to have dinner with this lovely lass this evening - our long lost friend, Sarah.  Sarah has been a part of our small group in our church for several years now. But she got married and moved to Atlanta and left us.  :(

She is back in town for the weekend visiting and we had a lovely time catching up.  Big things are happening in her life right now and I'm so happy that she's so happy.  

This picture was taken last summer - we did a 'girl's night' where we got all fancied up and took pictures outside.  Too bad it started raining.  

But I hot-rolled Sarah's gorgeous hair and had a blast doing so.  She is a beautiful gal - inside and out.  

We miss you, Sarah - but thanks for visiting us!  Come again soon!

Day 109 - Frustration

So, I have this awesome new camera and I'm getting pretty frustrated with it.  After lots of time spent reading the manual over and over and over and reading forums and blogs and helpful sites, I still am having issues with the auto-focus.  I have tried manual focus - but I'm obviously no good at it.  :(

I contacted the people I purchased it from (a 3rd party from Amazon.com) to see if I can get a replacement.  A lot of folks have gone this route and the problems disappear with a new camera.

 In the meantime, I continue to take test shots and this was one that I took while laying on the couch.  This is the box that holds our remote controls.

Funky and artsy.  But perfectly in focus?  I think not.  :(

Day 108 - Sheep C-Section

Not EXACTLY the weekend I had planned for our friend, Kyle who is visiting, but hey, it's more exciting than watching a movie. 

Kyle, Matt, and I went out to a really nice farm to help out a sheep who was in trouble giving birth.  She had a VERY large lamb that was not coming out the normal way.  So, I did a C-section.  I was in a great barn with great light and 2 great assistants.  Kyle was the photographer - go Kyle!

The lamb was already deceased - but here's hoping the mother will do alright.  

Nice sheep.